So I got my eviction notice today. Apparently my landlord (now former landlord) sold the building that I am living in. New landlord wants to live in my apartment so naturally that means I have to move out. She (new landlord) came today and presented me with an eviction notice with a time frame of 3 months to GTFO. She was really pleasant and polite about it and explained how she hated to do it to me and felt really bad, then proceeded to tell me all about her plans to moving in here and what her plans are with the building. She is actually pretty friendly and we got along perfect. It’s actually kind of a shame that she’s not going to be my new landlord. heh.

Of course this kinda took me all by surprise. I had no clue that the landlord sold the building and my way of finding out was being slapped in the face with an eviction notice. Fucking Ace! So if that isn’t bad enough, to top it all off, (former) landlord hasn’t even come by yet to inform me that he doesn’t own the building anymore or that he is not even our landlord anymore. Kinda sleazy if you ask me.

Any other time, in most cases, I would be freaking out in a panic attack right about now. I would seriously be in hysterics thinking it’s the end of the world. But truth is, in reality I’ve been *really* wanting to move anyhow, but I would have preferred it be more on MY terms. But, it is what it is and I have 3 months to get my shit together.

1. My feet are quite amazing – I can pick almost anything up with my toes, write with them, undo buttons and even peel banana’s with them. If I suddenly lost both hands, I might not do to bad in life with my feet :D

2. My vagina is also quite amazing! I can queef the alphabet on command and even fill it up with water using my PC muscles and hit targets with deadly accuracy. No, I’m not kidding. I used to save my empty shampoo bottles and line them up along the edge of the bathtub for just this reason. Now, imagine what I can do to a penis!

3. I wear my sunglasses at all times. It doesn’t matter where or what time of the day it is. My sunglasses are a part of me. If I don’t have my sunglasses perched upon my head, my head feels naked. As I sit here at 4:20am typing this blog post, can you guess where my sunglasses are?! *sings* I WEAR MY SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT!

4. I have an intense (and totally irrational) fear of walking up and down stairs in the dark. I always get the overwhelming feeling that something of unimaginable horror is behind me and going to kill me, and I usually end up doing this weird sideways/backwards walk so that I can watch the front and back of me simultaneously. At the last step all I can think about is finding a light and nine times out of ten I break out into a run.

5. I have to go to bed with socks on, but can’t sleep with them on – I always kick them off about a half hour later (this is where 99% of my missing socks end up – in a mushed-up pile at the very end of the bed under the sheets).

6. When I’m in a car, I have to tap my feet to all the lines on the road. For example, if we pass a driveway, I tap my toes to each side of it (the opening) as we go past. If we drive over a dotted line I try to tap my toes as fast as I can inside my shoes to each dot. I realize this might not be such a great habit when I finally get my drivers license.

7. I constantly write with my fingers, in the air. If I’m not doing anything that requires the use of my hands (eating, watching tv, masturbating, riding in a car) I’m always drawing with my index finger. It might be writing a sentence, solving a math problem, tracing something I see close by, or drawing something – my fingers are always moving and I’m not even aware I’m doing it (people point it out to me all the time).

I’m sick and tired of how men view women at bars. Just because I’m young, attractive, and wearing a sexy outfit DOES NOT MEAN that I came to the bar expecting to be picked up, fucked, or treated like an unintelligent slut. Just because I’m showing cleavage or another body part of mine, again, DOES NOT MEAN that I’m ‘inviting’ you to be rude and derogatory towards me. It doesn’t mean that I’m trying to attract negative attention from you and your buddies. And it certainly, above all, doesn’t mean that if something bad happens to me, I “should have seen it coming” or “was asking for it”!

You don’t have the right to touch my body without my consent. How many times do I have to fucking tell you that? There’s a reason I don’t go to bars very often. It’s because I can’t walk through a crowd without someone grabbing my ass or touching me, and I don’t handle that well. In fact, I tend to turn around, tell them that they’re sexually assaulting me, and they don’t take it very well. Things usually end poorly. What the FUCK gives someone the right to touch my body? NOTHING. NOTHING GIVES ANYONE THE RIGHT TO TOUCH MY BODY. It’s MY body!

Why can’t I go to the bar looking all cute and sexy with my attractive female friends and dance without stuff like that happening to me? It makes me incredibly angry. I have the fucking right to dress however I damn well please without negative side effects! It doesn’t matter WHO I’m dressing like that for, or WHY I’m dressing like that – it’s my choice!

I think Fergi said it best; “You can look but you can’t touch it if you touch it I’m a start some drama, you don’t want no drama! So don’t pull on my hand boy, you’re not my man boy, I’m just trying to dance boy, and move my hump!”

Can you believe that it’s already the middle of January? My blog is a whole 15 days old. I know, very much a newborn in the blogosphere. But, things are really starting to come together now and I’m settling in rather nicely. It’s still all a work in progress of course, so you will have to excuse me while I change things around a gazillion times all while avoiding the MySpace look. I made an Affiliates tab to avoid crowding of my sidebars. I need to organize my tabs and decide which get tabbed an which are sidebar worthy – Ah! The life of a blogger! In the future I will have a header and everything snazzy looking. It’s amazing what a domain and hosting can do!

I’ve been talking with a certain company who has agreed to sponsor my very first giveaway so keep your eyes peeled for that. I’m so excited! As much as I want to tell you what it is…I can’t. You can however earn an extra entry to the giveaway by commenting on my Early Bird Post.

I am participating in Lilly’s Erogenous Zones weekly meme thingy.  I posted last week’s Erogenous Zone here. (Which reminds me, I still need to post this week’s zone) You can participate too!

As soon as I get a video camera I will be doing video reviews as well as vlogs. I really desperately want a Flip. You can read that in my previous post, which is part of my Wishful Wednesday series. I recently discovered that now carries electronics (they used to only ship books, movies and music to Canada in previous years) which is just ace! The Flip has been added to my Amazon Wishlist. *hint*hint*

I have a box full of goodies coming to me from I am impatiently waiting for that to get here. So you know what that means – reviews! I’ve taken a short break for a while but I’m now back in the game.

Bring on the dildos!

One Savvy Mom is giving away a Flip UltraHD  and I am trying to win it!  One main reason being that I want to be able to provide video reviews along with my written reviews – How awesome would THAT be?! – but sadly I don’t own a video camera. *cries* And cheap webcams just don’t cut it these days.  So, I am really hoping to win this! If you’d like a chance at winning one too, hop on over to her review/giveaway!
(Ends January 18, 2011)

A Little Bit About the Flip Ultra HD
  • Shoot up to 1 hour of amazing HD video on the easy-to-use, pocket-sized UltraHD
  • Press the big red button to start capturing vibrant HD video (720p / 30fps) on the super-simple user interface
  • Comes with 4 GB of built-in memory, letting you capture up to 1 hour of HD video; no additional memory cards required
  • Power up with the included standard AA batteries. And for even better charge time, try using the Flip Video Rechargeable Battery Pack [sold separately]
  • Connect the built-in USB arm to your PC or Mac® to launch pre-loaded FlipShare™ software
  • Use FlipShare software to organize and edit your videos, capture photos, send video greeting cards and create custom movies
  • Share videos privately using FlipShare’s attachment-free email or by creating Flip Channels; post publicly with direct video shares to Facebook™, Twitter™ and YouTube™
  • Watch your videos on your HDTV by connecting your UltraHDto your HDTV with the Flip Video HDMI ™ Mini Cable (type C) [sold separately]
  • Record high-quality H.264 HD videos that are compatible with most video-playing applications, including Windows Media Player, QuickTime Player, and iTunes
  • Video: 16:9 widescreen, HD 720p (1280 x 720) at 30 frames per seconds (fps) progressive scan; recorded as MP4 files
  • Included in package: Flip UltraHD video camera, two standard AA batteries, user guide